Golf is a violent, barbaric sport that has no place in our society.

Consider it from the ball's perspective. Here's this little fellow, completely innocent, never hurt anybody, totally dependent on you, and utterly defenseless. And what do you do? You hit him. As hard as you can and as far as you can. And what happens when you miss? You take another swing!

Of course, that's not the end of it. Oh no. Once you drive him away, you go looking for him. Not because you want him back, but because you're afraid of the penalties if you don't find him! And once you've found him, what do you? You hit him again!

Honestly, I don't know who's sicker. The people who do it to relieve stress, the people who do it for sport, or the people who do it for money! And how sick do you have to be sponsor (or attend!) a tournament?

Now I admit, coming up with something like this proves that that I'm pretty twisted. At least I'm not a golfer.