If you walk into almost any major Science Fiction convention, you probably won't take more than a few steps before you run into a group of people wearing uniforms from Star Trek. After a quick look at their rank insignia, you'll quickly decide that in the 23rd and 24th centuries, everybody's a Captain. This first impression is, of course, completely wrong. If you take a closer look, you'll discover that at least half of them are actually Admirals.

It isn't until you search among the members of organized fandom (e.g. STARFLEET, UFPI, etc.) that you'll begin to find Lieutenants, Petty Officers, and other less glamorous positions. You'll find Captains, Admirals and even the odd Fleet Admiral in the ranks of organized fandom, but those people didn't just pay a few dollars in the dealer's room to get those ranks, they earned them according to the rules of the respective organizations.

And then there's me.

For the past year, the convention list published in The Communiqué has had a byline reading, "Compiled by Corporal Captain Blair Learn." Most people correctly identify Corporal Captain as the "experimental rank" Hawkeye used to sneak Radar into the Officer's club in M*A*S*H in the same episode where we were first introduced to BJ Hunnicut. But judging by the e-mail I receive, many people aren't certain how that could possibly be a STARFLEET rank. The answer is that, as was the case with Radar, somebody made it up.

The first edition of the convention list was published in The Communiqué during the summer of 1999. Wendy Fillmore had taken a temporary leave of absence, and Mark Anbinder was doing the first of his two issues as interim Communiqué editor.

Mark knew me from the work he'd been doing in CompOps and when he composed the list's byline, he cut and pasted the byline from another article, the author of which was a Captain. When he looked at the new byline and read, "Captain Blair Learn," he believed that to be my correct rank.

In fact, at that time, I was the only person on the CompOps staff who didn't hold a flag rank. My correct rank at the time was Lieutenant(jg). Naturally I teased Mark about the goof.

When the next issue of The Communiqué came out two months later, Mark made darn certain that I was listed as Lieutenant(jg). What he didn't know was that while he was putting together that edition's byline, my CO and XO had realized I was due for promotion to full Lieutenant. More teasing ensued.

Mark's reaction was that he was going to start calling me "Admiral" on the grounds that I wasn't likely to get promoted past that level for some time to come.

Two months later, another edition of The Communiqué came out with Wendy Fillmore back at the helm. To Mark's surprise, this time out, the byline identified me as a Fleet Admiral.

In October, I attended the 1999 Watkins Glen Weekend; an annual event organized by Mark's Chapter, the USS Accord. As has become the Accord's standard practice, nametags were issued to each attendee, listing their name, rank, and chapter.

Mark was prepared for me. My nametag identified me as "Corporal Captain Blair Learn." Every edition of the convention list since then has shown that rank in the byline.

In July of this year, my CO arranged for the RC to hand me my promotion certificate for the rank of Lieutenant Commander. But you shouldn't expect to see that rank on the convention list any time soon.

And if I ever decide to wear a uniform to a convention, I'll probably go as a French Army Marshal. After all, as Riker pointed out in Hide and "Q", "...a Marshal outranks even an Admiral."