How to Live Longer

I discovered today that a recent issue of National Geographic had a cover story titled “The Secrets of Living Longer.”

As a community service, I’m going to reveal how you too can live longer. What’s more, I’m not going to make you buy anything. That’s just the kind of guy I am.

So what’s the secret to a long life? It’s quite simple really: Don’t Die!

That’s it! There’s nothing else you have to do!

Aren’t you glad I didn’t make you buy a magazine?

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