Dividing by Zero

Going into the August status report (my third in a row), I decided to take a break from the Monty Python references. Of course, after the previous two months, I couldn’t jump straight into the new gag. I’d like to believe that the transition worked out well enough that the new gag took everyone by surprise.

Having made his purchase, Matt headed out of the cheese shop, pausing to hold the door for a gentleman he’d seen coming out of the library while he was on his own way into the cheese shop. Nibbling on a chunk of Venezualan beaver cheese, Matt looked around to get his bearings. The sales clerk had confirmed that this was indeed San Francisco and Matt had decided to file his MSR in-person at headquarters. (more…)

It’s been mentioned before that Wylie gets excited when he sees deer. A lot of people assume it’s because he wants to chase after them, but that’s not at all true. The reason he gets excited is that Wylie is a member of the S.L.E.D. team and he wants to talk to the deer to see if they’ve heard any news from Santa’s reindeer.

S.L.E.D. (Santa’s Little Elf Dogs) is a world-wide organization of dogs who every Christmas keep an eye out for Santa and are on standby to help out in case the jolly old elf should encounter difficulties. It’s been a long time since Santa’s had any serious problems, but it’s well-known in canine circles that it was only the delaying tactics adopted by the Grinch’s dog Max that allowed the Grinch to hear the Whos singing and have his change of heart about the holiday, leading to his decision to bring all the gifts back to Whoville. As a part of the S.L.E.D. team, Wylie is inspired by Max’s example and is always ready to help Santa out. (more…)

I had to be in Towson this morning by 9:00am for a Jaycees meeting. Factoring in the hour-plus drive to get there, time to take Wylie out, and otherwise get myself ready for the day I knew the day would starting awful early. Right about 6:00am, Wylie and I headed out the door for our usual morning walk.

Normally I don’t bother turning on the outside lights before heading out for the morning walk. During the week, the timing works out so the sun’s usually coming up while we’re out. And on the weekend, I can sleep late enough that the problem doesn’t exist. But because it was so early this time, I considered breaking with tradition and leaving a light on so I could find the place. (more…)

Having already taken care of the Shuttle Schweitzer’s monthly report for June, I volunteered to write the July report as well. Not having learned from the previous month’s experience, Matt decided to take me up on it. The Monty Python gags continued.

Having been tossed into the Gorge of Infinite Peril at the end of last month’s MSR, Matt drew a deep breath for what he was certain would be a long drawn out “Noooooooooooooooooooooo!” worthy of Wile E. Coyote falling off the cliff for the fifth time in three minutes. Much to his surprise though, he’d barely started drawing his breath, much less yelling, when he was quite startled to hit bottom, letting out a deep “WHUMPF!” instead. (more…)

Feel…so…weak. My super-powers…fadi…

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Looking through some recent junk mail, I discovered a letter from Chase bank. At first glance, I thought the large text said, “Convert your equity into debt!”

That didn’t sound right, so I took another look. What it really said was, “Convert your equity into cash!” It was an offer for a home equity line of credit.

So, it turns out I read it correctly the first time after all.

When Matt had problems filing the Monthly Status Report (aka the “MSR”) for the Shuttle Schweitzer (a chapter of the Starfleet science fiction club to which we both belonged), he asked me to take over for him. Matt’s known me for about ten years. You’d think he’d know better.

Our CO daringly attempted to file the chapter’s MSR via the SFI database site which, as everyone knows, is located in the fifth level sub-basement of Area 51. Upon Matt’s arrival, he was greeted by armed guards who denied that any such base existed. When asked why they were guarding a base that didn’t exist, the guards disappeared in a puff of logic and Matt proceeded to enter the top secret access codes. (more…)

It’s official. As of Friday afternoon, for the first time in nearly nine years, I find myself “between jobs.” Coincidentally, the last time this happened was also in the winter, the only difference is that the last time it happened in January.

I start the new job on Monday.

When changing jobs, it’s customary to give two weeks notice to your current employer. This gives them time to plan for the transition and also perhaps to try making it worthwhile for you to stay. (Honestly though, I’ve never heard anyone recommend that you accept a counter-offer.)

It’s also pretty common that unless you seem likely to cause a disruption, make off with proprietary data, or otherwise cause problems, most companies will let you keep working up to the very end in order to make the transition go as smoothly as possible. I’ve only ever heard of just one or two companies (in extremely competitive industries) where giving your two weeks notice results in being immediately escorted from the premises. (more…)

The last time a human being set foot on The Moon was the Apollo 17 mission, which landed on December 11, 1972 and left 75 hours later on December 14. More than three decades later, NASA has announced plans to return to the moon and establish a permanent base!

Obviously, this is all subject to politics and Congress’ ongoing cutting of the NASA budget, but hope springs eternal.

Now where did I put that spacesuit?