Dividing by Zero

I’m not entirely certain how, but somehow I’ve found myself on the mailing list for the Ralph Lauren factory outlet. I got a mailing from them a couple days about an upcoming sale, just in time for Back-to-School.

It probably has something to do with what I’ve been reading lately. In reality, the crest in this photo is the Ralph Lauren logo. But I can’t help thinking this is meant to be an example of what the well-dressed Hogwarts student is wearing this fall.

During past Shore Leave conventions, I’ve occasionally been asked to introduce one of the guests at the start of a Q&A session. I get a bit self-conscious in front of an audience, but I get by. (Shore Leave is one of the weekends every year when I pretend to be comfortable in that sort of situation.) This year, in addition to two introductions, I was also asked to present some of the thank you gifts.

At the end of Claudia Christian’s Q&A session, I walked onto the stage where she was standing. The first item I handed her was a plush Shore Leave bunny. She hugged the bunny to her chest while I explained that the convention is named for the Shore Leave episode of the original Star Trek. In that episode, one of the first things you see is The White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland and that’s become the convention’s mascot.

Like I said, I sometimes get a bit self-conscious in front of an audience. I don’t turn as red as a few years ago, but I undoubtedly changed colors when Claudia quipped, “I thought it was because I was in Playboy.”

I’ve added Ben Hur to the list of the AFI Top 100 films that I’ve seen.

I wasn’t really sure what to expect. Sometimes I’ve wound up enjoying “The Classics”. Harvey, Casablanca and Forbidden Planet are fantastic movies, worth seeing more than once. On the other hand, A Streetcar Named Desire was horrible — I turned it off halfway through. All I knew about Ben Hur was that it somehow involved a chariot race.

It definitely belongs in the list of “Classics I’ve enjoyed.” It tells the story of a man growing up in the time of Christ and in fact “bumping shoulders” with him on several occasions, including right at the time of the crucification.

Sadly, I don’t think Hollywood can make movies like that anymore. They’d want to trim the cast down to just a few main characters and make the whole thing fit into less than two hours — instead of the crucification, it would probably end with the death of Messala. You’d never find out anything about Judah’s mother and sister, much less their miraculous healing.

So I’m pleasantly surprised. Where I’d been dreading something boring, I would up being quite entertained. Maybe even uplifted.

You don’t get that with many films today.

I don’t generally follow (or even care about) what’s going on with the celebrity crowd. People I actually know, such as AJ, Squish, John or even Z, are far more important to me. (That being said, would someone please give Jennifer Aniston my phone number?) Despite this lack of interest on my part, sometimes the celebrity news is hard to avoid.

Take for instance the recent case of Lindsay Lohan. She was arrested for DUI over Memorial Day weekend and checked into rehab. Two weeks after getting out of rehab, she was pulled over again. This time along with DUI, she was also charged with driving on a suspended license and possession of cocaine.

In California, a second offense so close to the first means automatic jail time, so despite a police video tape showing her jumping out of the driver’s door and attempting to flee the scene, her lawyers have taken the tack of claiming that it wasn’t her driving.

Silly policeman. It must have been Paris Hilton.

Last weekend, during Shore Leave, I had my first-ever “in the wild” (i.e. not an ad or a store) sighting of an iDontCare iPhone. The guy it belonged to (a friend’s husband) somewhat ruefully admitted to waiting in line for seven hours for it.

I do have to admit, the user interface is pretty slick. If you were using it on a PDA. And then, mainly for viewing photos. The device’s owner agreed though, aside from the Apple cachet, the phone had no significant functionality that mine didn’t.

Note to Apple execs: I still stand by my offer, to let you persuade me of the phone’s merits.

I arrived at Borders right at midnight. The parking lot was full, so I ended up parking three or four rows into the next lot over which was also quite full of Borders customers. Walking up to the store, I found an empty space in the row closest to the store. I’m sure someone else enjoyed it immensely.

Inside, the store was chaos. People everywhere, some in costume, most in street clothes. It wasn’t planned that way, but I realized I was appropriately attired, wearing a T-Shirt from the Frederick Jaycees’ Haunted Hayride, which features a drawing of a skeleton driving a tractor. Not exactly a Harry Potter motif, but close enough.

I eventually fought my way to the information desk and after confirming that the crowd is there for Harry Potter books and not game consoles or telephones, I found out where the line was where I could get the piece of paper with my number for the book pickup line. That was about 10 minutes into Harry Potter Day.

12:35 AM: I received a green piece of paper which put me in the third from last group to get books. Gosh, I’m gonna have to wait for a while. Here I am, standing in the middle of a book store, whatever shall I do to keep myself occupied?

1:30 AM: They’ve called for the people with the green pieces of paper. This is actually going much faster than I thought it would. I reluctantly put down the book I was reading (yep, I found something to do) and got into the line.

1:44 AM: I receive a copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Looking it over, I discover that I’ve received a “rare collectors edition” where about 2/3 of the way through, a group of about 20-30 pages were folded over during the binding process and consequently weren’t completely cut free.

1:46 AM: After a quick chat with the person passing out the books, I receive a non-damaged copy and resume standing in the check out line. While I wait, I check out the table of contents (interesting chapter titles as always, but they don’t give much away) and then sneak a quick peek to see if the final word of the book is still “vanished.” Despite all the buzz last year, the final word has changed.

1:56 AM: I arrive at the checkout with my wallet already out. Despite the late hour, the clerk is in a terrific mood. We chit-chat while she looks up my Borders Rewards account number and then rings up the sale. I learn that she’s been there since 9:00. That would be 9:00 Friday morning, or simply put, one very long day. I’m guessing she’ll be there until 3:00AM.

1:59 AM: I receive my limited edition Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows poster.

2:00 AM: I’m on my way out to the car. Total time at Borders, just under two hours.

2:20 AM: I arrive home, give Wylie a pat on the head and make a quick snack.

And now, I have some reading to do.

The new (notice I didn’t say “final”) Harry Potter book is coming out tonight at midnight. Just for the heck of it, I’ve decided to be one of the people who’s in line at the book store at one minute after midnight. The notion of seeing people lining up for a book instead of a video game console is just too good to pass up.

Of course, I already know what’s in this book: lots of pages!

As for plot points, you’ll have to decide for yourself whether these are genuine spoilers:

A couple months ago I launched a separate journal for some of my Jaycee activities.

Dividing by Zero used to have a “Jaycees” category for more personal entries, such as Matt’s Falcon, but apparently I removed it at some point.

The new site is for more things related to my role as district director. I’m not sure how long it will be around after New Years.

Dividing by Zero will be around indefinitely.

This year was my first time as co-chair for Shore Leave (or any other convention). All in all, it was a great weekend with no major problems that I had to deal with. (There were a few minor glitches, but nothing huge.) This is also going to be my last time chairing a convention for the foreseeable future, but that’s more to do with setting some priorities for my time rather than any particular hassles.

One of the highlights of the weekend involved attending my first ever “Klingon Banquet.” Having no desire to dress up in any other sort of costume (let alone the incredibly warm and heavy Klingon garb), I opted to dress as my usual self. To my surprise, I wound up seated next to Gwynyth Walsh – the guest of honor - and during the course of the evening, several people somehow reached the conclusion that I was her spouse. I’m not entirely certain how that happened, though I didn’t particularly object. My only request was that they not tell her husband!

(more…)

Tuesday was my first day back to work after Shore Leave. One of the standard post vacation questions is, “How was your vacation?” and my completely honest typical response is “Too short.” Today though, instead of the usual laughter, The Mad Russian explained that my vacation had been long enough. In fact, she wouldn’t have minded if I’d come back early.

It seems that the day after I left, several systems that had been working perfectly suddenly started to have problems communicating with the database. All she and MC did for two days was troubleshoot problems they were certain I could have figured out in no time.

I see no reason to tell them otherwise. It’s nice to feel needed.