Dividing by Zero

I was up until 1:30 painting last night. The upstairs hallway is now complete and except for some touch-up work, all that remains to be done is half the kitchen. The hallway is a small area, but with four doorways, a closet, an air vent, and a half-flight of stairs, it took a lot longer than I expected.

I was really tired when I went to work this morning, but if anyone had suggested that perhaps it might have been a good idea to have waited until this coming weekend to finish, I was prepared to tell them, “You can have my paintbrush when you pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

But I screwed up last night. I left the paintbrush on top of the ladder and it’s now one solid mass of latex.

If you want my paintbrush, come and get it. It’s yours.

So do you think you know the story of Jonah and the Whale? Much to my shame, all I knew about it was that Jonah was swallowed by a whale and then I start comparing it the story of Pinocchio. (I know a little more of that story, though I’m not entirely certain how Pinocchio got out of his whale either.)

Last year, Kate and Luke moved to Lancaster so Luke could attend seminary and lucky for me, on Monday, he posted a transcript of his first sermon, “Eeyore Goes to Tehran.”

Kate once described Luke as being the more “graphic” of their duo. At the time, we all laughed at the possible multiple meanings of “graphic”, but I’ve since come to realize that Luke fits quite a few of those meanings. Given that new knowledge, I was more than a little curious to learn what he was up to.

It turns out that “Eeyore Goes to Tehran” is a retelling of Jonah’s story, starring Eeyore as Jonah. The sermon puts the story of Jonah against a contemporary backdrop, but still manages to be thought-provoking. For that alone, it’s worth the read, the inclusion of Eeyore takes nothing away but instead keeps your interest. As a bonus, I at long last know how it was that Jonah escaped from the pelican whale!

I do wish I’d been able to see the delivery in person; but perhaps I’ll manage that when Luke delivers the story of “Piglet in the Lion’s Den.”

The floor installation started on May 30. During the last several days before that, I became a madman moving everything that wasn’t nailed down into the basement. As a result, the night before the installation started, the place was pretty darn empty.

Here’s a few photos to follow up on the progress report from a few weeks back.

As planned, the bed was the only piece of furniture left.

The only other thing left in the entire upstairs was a couple days worth of clothes.

The first floor was equally empty.

And here’s some updates on the basement.

I’ve reached a point in the renovation project where I’m tired of the entire thing. Consequently, although I’ve unpacked a few things (I now have a sofa along with the computer, desk and chair), I’ve been finding a number of excuses to put off the rest of painting. About all I’ve accomplished along those lines the past couple weeks is the prep work for the master bedroom.

That’s changed. Today I made a point of finishing the prep work for the bedroom and it is now officially painted. For Sunday, I hope to get the upstairs hallway painted. Then all that will remain is painting half the kitchen and getting things out of the basement again. (And there’s a bit of deadline too, Shore Leave is in two weeks and I’d like to have the project done before then.)

The only catch is, my bedroom now smells like paint. What’s worse though is that the drop cloth was blocking the air vent. Consequently, it’s also about 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. So tonight I’m going to sleep on the sofa. Happily, it’s not just a sofa, it a very comfy sofa!

Wylie’s turned out to be rather fond of my bedroom’s closet doors. Sooner or later though, I’m going to put them back in their standard vertical configuration.

Hopefully he’ll be OK with going back to his usual bed.

Of the features of Google’s GMail user interface is something called “Web Clips.” It’s near the top of the page and features the headlines from a number of RSS feeds and even offers you the ability to add feeds of your own choosing (I heartily recommend you search for "http://dactylmanor.org/blair/zero/feed/atom" and click the Add button).

Of course, Google being Google, they can’t resist taking a feature like that and doing a little extra with it. For instance, if you go to the Spam folder, the web clip headlines are replaced with links to recipes. More specifically, recipes involving Spam, the alleged meat product.

Visiting the Trash folder, the web clip area is used to display a series of recycling tips. Most are ordinary tips such as “Plastic bags can be reused as bin liners or package stuffing” or “Empty tissue boxes can provide easy and handy storage for plastic grocery bags.”

Today however I spotted a truly unique recycling tip. Not only was it environmentally friendly, this tip also involved such a bold fashion statement that I’m not sure even Green Gal would have suggested it:

The local water utility had a major water main break late on Sunday evening. Evidently it was one of the primary mains for the Northern half of the county. Consequently, we’ve been advised to boil water before using it for drinking, cooking, brushing teeth, etc. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear about the advisory until I was halfway to work yesterday.

In order to conserve water for emergencies (firefighting, etc.), they’ve also imposed water use restrictions. No watering lawns, washing cars, laundry (good thing I did mine Sunday afternoon!), no washing dishes, etc.

Also, because they can’t use the water in food preparation, most of the county’s restaurants have been ordered closed. Likewise, a number of supermarkets have closed their produce departments because they can’t spray water on the vegetables.

This morning, Wylie and I discovered a torrent of water running down the street from up by the elementary school. Apparently the main serving my neighborhood is also broken.

I have to wonder, does this mean I should boil the water twice?

At the office, they posted signs yesterday asking everyone to limit their use of the restrooms because of the water restrictions. Fortunately, there are bushes planted around the building…

Wylie’s a little blue this evening.

Fortunately, latex paint is non-toxic, and he didn’t get very much on him.

Temperatures here in the DC area are projected to hit 100 degrees today and a little higher on Sunday.

We are now officially in that part of the year when it’s just too hot to mail anything chocolate (cookies, fudge, etc) unless you don’t mind it arriving as one solid (sticky) mass.

Ever since he first came to live here, Wylie has collected a variety of new names to suit the various facets of his personality.

A lot of the names are affectionate variations of his given name: “Wye”, “Wyler”, “Dub” (short for W) and on occasion, when he’s being nutty, “Wylizenheimer”. On more formal occasions, he’s been addressed as “Mister Wylie,” though when I find myself getting frustrated with him, instead of “Mud” his name becomes “Wylie J. Dawg.”

Other names reflect his mood, for example, when he won’t stop bouncing off the walls, he’s been referred to as “Rocket Dog.” Others make less sense, I’m still not sure how he became “Chocolate Pudding Dog”, though “You Silly Dog,” when he tripped over his own leash, is a bit more obvious.

This past week though, Wylie’s been working to earn himself a new name.

A few times in the past when Wylie’s been confined to the bedroom, he’s tried to dig his way out, resulting in a shredded carpet. I really don’t want him damaging the floors (it could be bad for both Wylie’s health and my blood pressure), so as part of Sunday’s activities, I cut up a chair mat to fit in the doorway of my bedroom.

Of course, with summer approaching, I also don’t want him to get overheated. A few weeks ago, I purchased a child-safety gate to put across the bedroom door. The idea was that this would keep Wylie in the room while at the same time, letting the air circulate. Before the floors went in, it seemed to work pretty well (aside from the time I didn’t put it up correctly and he and his buddy Riley teamed up to knock it down twice in five minutes), but now that the floors are in, I may need to rethink my strategy.

Every time I’ve left the house this week, I’ve put Wylie in the bedroom and put up the gate to keep him there. And every time I’ve come home this week, Wylie has either met me at the door or come downstairs shortly after I arrived. (What I forgot is that in Wyile’s world, there’s no such thing as a fence. Instead, Wylie’s world contains nothing more substantial than obstacles made of gossamer that he can pass through any time he so chooses.)

On Tuesday I discovered that not only had Wylie escaped from the bedroom, he’d somehow managed to open the basement door (see my previous comment about gossamer barriers) and instead of eating the food in his dish, had figured out where the milkbones were hidden and had a little picnic. (Predictably, he didn’t bother with his regular food for the next several meals.)

Thursday evening I went out to my Swing Dance class down in Glen Echo. Before I left, I put Wylie in the bedroom and closed the gate. When I came home several hours later, the basement door was open and ol’ Wylie was staring down the steps. I went upstairs to change my clothes and took Wylie out for his evening walk. When we got back, I went down the stairs to get him his evening treat. That’s when I discovered what he had been staring at.

At some point in time, Wylie seems to have decided that the cushions on my sofa are his mortal enemy, and Wylie attacks the cushions at every opportunity. While I was at my dance class, Wylie had launched another attack on his enemy. What he’d been staring at when I came home was a sofa cushion, the foam stuffing of which was scattered across the basement floor.

The latest addition to Wylie’s collection of names is therefore a recognizable classic: “Dammit Wylie!“