A parrot on the plane

Contributed by the Fundygas

A man got on a plane and took his seat, only to realize that the occupant of the seat next to him was a parrot. The plane took off and after some minutes a flight attendant approached. "Can I get you anything, sir?" she asked the man. "Yes, I'll have a coffee, please, when you have a minute. Thank you."

"And for you, sir?" she asked the parrot. "A double whisky and coke, bitch, and make it quick, I'm thirsty!" demanded the parrot. The flight attendant returned a few minutes later with the parrot's drink, which he snatched without a word.

"Excuse me," said the man, "but I ordered a coffee." "Did you, sir? I'm sorry, I'll get it right away," she said, by which time the parrot had finished his drink.

"Anything else for you, sir?" she asked the parrot. "Yeah, I want another double whisky and coke, fool. Quick, you lazy woman, I can't wait all night!"

Again the flight attendant returned with the parrot's drink and without the coffee. The man decided that the only way he was going to get any service was to adopt the attitude of his fellow passenger. "Listen here you stupid woman," he said. "I want my damn coffee and I want it now, you cow!"

Two minutes later she returned with two enormous security guards who dragged the man and the parrot to the back of the plane, opened the door, and ejected them from the plane.

As they hurtled uncontrollably towards earth from six miles up, the parrot turned to the man and said, "You're a bit of a smart mouth for someone who can't fly, aren't you!"

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