Advice from the Wily Dog!
Helping Dogs and Humans understand each other.
The Hero of Indiana
New Years Resolution
What's all the noise for?
Care for a Mint?
The Wet Look
Clarifying the Rules
Don't Bark at the Fat Guy
Scared of the Dark?
Keeping it Clean
Which Side of the Street?
Guarding the House
Off to School
Shredding Toilet Paper
Peanut Butter & Biscuits
Clarifying the Rules
I received the following from a fellow human friend and thought you might want to share it with your four-legged readers:
Dear Dogs and Cats:
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king-sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues handing out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, and try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years and canine or feline attendance is not mandatory.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
Thanks for passing that along! An occasional refresher on the rules is always a good idea.
It's also important to note that "Drink from the toilet before kissing you" is still the correct order.
|Advice from the Wily Dog is Copyright © 2005 by Blair Learn|